Gnome Homes are tough!

How tough I hear you ask?

So tough that a packet of four can survive being run over by an NZPost truck with only minor paint chipping. The packing was a smouldering ruin though.

So there you go, weather proof, cat proof, post proof. Gnome Homes, another fine product from Dolphin Foundry.
I have to go do some repacking now.

Murray’s Cryptic Movie Review

Crap on a screen.

There’s no place like Epsom, theres no pla…

Oh wait I’m thinking of a different pair of shoes.

Rodney has his dancing shoes from Dancing with the Stars on Trademe. No doubt John “in love with myself” Campbell will se this as some form of Rodney not doing his job and sneer till his carefully makeup smears but in fact Rodney is rasing money for Starship Hospitals heart unit.

In other fund rasing efforts there will be a celebrity race between Rodney in his Smartcar and Heart of the City CEO Alex Swney on his Jaffa coloured Vespa.

A few scyth blades on the hubs and you can take him Roders!

Sweep the back wheel, sweep the back wheel!!!

Little present for Pete Hodgeson.

It’s called an old fashioned bitch slapping.

The correct headline is…

Four assholes bounce off the US Emabasy in Syria.

This is the Arab equivilent of frat boys getting drunk and “hi-jinks ensue”.

Three are getting hosed off the wall and one is “helping police with their enquiries”.

Losers.

PODGEZILLA!!!!

Podge has decided he has a new sleeping spot. No word yet from the residents about how they feel about having a sodding great monster living on the roof, or about the fact that they just happen to be “snack size” themselves.

For some reason the tree stump displayed has proved very popular with cats everywhere. Could this be a new line in cat furniture?

Gnavy Gnomes!

Yes a new product from the twisted mind that brought you Computer Gnomes and Silent Running Island, the only survior island concept game with a trebuchet we present the new Gnavy Gnome Home Set!

A cast metal hatch and porthole available as a stick-on you can attach to any indoor surface finished in white or grey looking basically a bit like this…

Contact me directly if you want to pre-order one. Special prize to the first person to send me a picture of one mounted in an operational warship.

No assistance given if father turns out to be gnomaphobic.

A Few Thoughts.

1. It should be obvious that there is no reason to trust the media as to veracity of any of their products, especially when the product in question is defined as fiction.

2. The premise of the show, namely that “Sex scandal kept Clinton’s eye off bin Laden threat”, is not entirely far-fetched, to say the least.

3. If the premise is true, Republicans should carry at least a small part of the blame, because I always thought, and still do, that they have blown the Monica affair, however disgusting, entirely out of proportion.

4. “It is despicable that ABC/Disney would insist on airing a fictional version of what is a serious and emotional event for our country,” a spokesman for the Clinton Foundation said. Say what? I am sure the same spokesman made a similar remark after the release of “Fahrenheit 9/11″. Or maybe the Foundation did not regard that particular product as fiction. Right.

5. Democrats pointed out that the main consultant to the ABC series was Thomas Keane, a former Republican New Jersey governor and chairman of the 9/11 commission. Isn’t a bit too late to complain about that now?

6. ABC defended the series but was understood last night to be changing the scene involving Mr Berger. It called criticism “premature and irresponsible”, but conceded that the drama contained “fictionalised scenes, composite and representative characters and dialogue”. Not only the media cannot be trusted to tell the truth, they cannot even stick to their story (which is the flip side of that same coin, come to think of it).

7. The real blame lies with several US administrations, at least since Carter. It certainly includes Bush the father, and it will lie much heavier on Bush the W, if he does not do something about Iran before he is out of office.

Speaking Of Which…

The PC crap keeps chasing me. There is no escape, it even crosses oceans.

Pashosh has started middle school on Sunday, and yesterday he came home with a big scratch on his face. After about 3 minutes of me being all motherly, and him being all nonchalant, even with a wisecrack about it making him look very manly thrown in, it’s time for me to find out what happened. “Oh, it’s just this fat kid that was making remarks about the way I look, and I remarked back, and so on.” “Did you ask him when his birthday is, so that you can present him with this amazing gadget called a mirror?” My son smiles condescendingly: “Well, mom, it does not work that way, you know.” Apparently it does not.

The teacher (who, as my son reported, is nice, young and even not quite ugly), calls that same night, to let me know that she went home “with a heavy heart”, and she intends to get to the bottom of it, and there will be no violence tolerated in her class. “You know, it’s not a big deal, really”, I say. Then, thinking the better of it, I add: “I know, you have to do what you have to do, and that’s fine, but I really don’t get hysterical because of a scratch”.

I’s a good thing it was not a videophone, so I could keep hoping that maybe she did crack a smile after all. “What exactly happened, BTW?” “Well, it looks like one side was provoking the other side, and so the other side reacted with violence”. “Aha..” This mother is not unaccustomed to her offspring presenting her with a slightly modified version of an event. “Well,” I say, “Maybe he had it coming?” “Who?” She sounds quite confused, and my phone is still not smiling. In fact, it is certain that it is not going to smile throughout the conversation. “The provoking side”. “Well, but this is still not a reason to get violent. He could have talked it over, or he could have [wait for it, this one is a big freaking surprise] called me!” Of course, how stupid of me! Hey, fatty, be a man, call the nice lady to help you out!
God help us all.

BTW, this is another reason to demand of every teacher to have a masters’ degree, and to raise their salaries accordingly: it might increase the number of men who might consider a career in education. Preferably above 40, those who remember toy soldiers and guns, and who don’t remember having Women’s Studies in college.

Cry Havok!!!

And let slip the… err …. um gerbils of war?