Birthday Girl!

Just what every girl wants for her 16th, sardines for breakfast and an 8 hour sleep in.

Bitch slap!

As I mentioned to one of the lefty trolls who stake Kiwiblog, mainstream New Zealanders don’t like being told who they are, they’ll tell you who they are.

The hysterical lefties - who in spite of Fran O’Sullivan’s claims that right wing bloggers are public servants - seem to only be available for swam commenting during working hours - have been telling us for some time that various issues are dead, non-issues, past their use by date (”time to move on”), or they prove with cunning diagrams and quantum leap legal interpretations written on the back of napkins, that they are technically not as bad as something National has done.

Sadly the New Zealand public is not as clever as they are, and have become victims of “National sloganeering”.

The poll also suggests that the Prime Minister is no longer invincible when it comes to the leadership stakes.

Helen Clark drops 3% this month to 33%. Don Brash slips 1% to 17%, while John Key leaps to his highest rating ever at 11%. Winston Peters is unchanged on 4%.

Chris Muir - fan of the MSM.

…or not.

Phucked-up Phools Desert Island Challenge.

In the comments to one of DPF’s posts I made the observation that if Bob Jones thinks being a Christian precludes violence, then Bob knows bugger all about Christianity.

Phil, a well known drug abuser and punctuationallly challenged left wing hysteria merchant, has somehow translated this into meaning I was being critical of something else in the article, which in fact I couldn’t even be bothered reading.

Bob Jones sticks his nose into something blah blah hi jinx ensue blah blah, all good copy I’m sure. Look, it was “read that or keep the cats off my sardines on toast”. One has to have priorities. Dead fish, Bob Jones. It was an easy call.
Phil, in one of his usual “unrelated to anything and answering the question that no one asked”, wants to know who you would rather be stuck on a desert island with. Him or me.

I could give you a list of my qualifications in the “not ending up dead” stakes, but I’m not a leftie, so abusing a vote system doesn’t come naturally to me. Have it, tell us who and why.

Same rules as always, obscenity and profanity are not compulsary, but you will get more points.

Global Warming Effects #8,542

Tim Blair covers the latest consequence of cows farting and people using underarm deodorants:  cars catching fire in France.

This will now be known as “Spontaneous Vehicular Combustion” or SVC* for short.

*No mention of groups of “youths of a certain ethnic extraction” is permitted.

The Petition!

Soon to be a mini series staring Sam Neil as Blair Mulholland and Tilda Swinton as the dreaded PM.

Blair set up a petition, and thought how cool would it be if we got a couple of thousand signatures. We’ll, he’s got a couple of thousands now. By a couple I mean thirty four thousands!

To give you some context: the “We hate New Zealand flag” mob actually paid people to go and get people to sign their petition, and they couldn’t get that many in six months. They claimed “apathy” was to blame, never actually letting the idea that they were not pushing a popular product enter their heads.

What is taking place with this petition is a significant event.

Blair has now set up a site cunningly called “The Petition”, where you can go to see what’s going on. What you need to do now is go there, get the URL and email to everyone in your address book. Even if they aren’t Kiwis they may know other Kiwis, and they can send it on. Every single New Zealander should have the opportunity to sign this petition or not, as they choose. It just needs to be put in front of them.

Fran O’Sullivan

is officially NOT a right wing blogger!

Good news for all of us.

Fran is off Helen’s Christmas card list for pointing out one or two of Dear Leader’s many many many shortcomings, and the slur of the day from the photoshopped one is “right wing blogger”.

You should say this in the same way as you might say “puppy eating peadophile” to get the right effect.

Fran meanwhile has responded to Helen probably getting her bumped off the New Years Honors list, and quite possibly dipping out on getting an Easter Greeting of any kind as well.

She has however been added to Sir Humphrey’s Christmas card list, and if she plays her cards right could be scoring a Christmas present (grrrrr) from them as well.

Meanwhile, my own continued absence from the O’Sullivan seasonal mailing list has been secured in the comments.

Prima facie, Trev.

Bob Clarkson is considering laying a complaint of assault against Trevor Mallard after an incident in parliament.

Clarkson claims Mallard hit him across the back of the head with a couple of books.

Mallard denies anything happened.

Mallard does however admit to threatening to strike Clarkson.

Mallard then admits to something he was carrying coming into contact with Clarkson head… but that was because Clarkson moved his head into it, yer honor. [cough] BULLSHIT [cough]

Given Mallard’s history of making threats and following through, his long history of bully boy behaviour, and now what essentially amounts to a confession, we’re clearly looking and YET ANOTHER prima facie case against a member of the Labour Party.

It is unacceptable for ministers to threaten each other with violence in the house, it is a serious offence to follow through with a threat of violence.

Bob, go to the police.

Trevor, you have disgraced the office and our parliament again. You are unfit for office. The only reason you’re still there, is because being unfit to represent us doesn’t make you unique in this parliament.

Another step down the international joke trail. How long before our parliament is just another 10 second add-on for other peoples’ prime time news, as our ministers beat each other with their shoes?

Another proud Kiwi moment.

A fund raising!

Guys, here’s the situation. I’m running a small business. It’s going well in the growth phase, and we’re heading into Christmas with all the signs positive for a profitable season.

Problem is, everything I’ve made has gone back into marketing and development, so my margins are somewhere around nil for defaulters. I have 5 people who owe me total of $648. (Ask someone how much they’re owned and they’ll be able to tell you to the cent) Which sure isn’t a huge amount of money, but it is enough to stop me from taking an important trip to Auckland with vast amounts of stock I have to get more retail outlets for the holiday season.

No doubt I will get the money in time, but one thing I don’t have is time to mess about calling people, emailing them, sending them letters or turning up saying “Hi, give me money or the ornate piller has an accident”.

Bottom line is, I need to find some operating cash ASAP. Good news I have something I can sell!

So if you have room in your Christmas shopping list for a genuine unique Kiwi handcraft, then please stop by the Gnome Home page and order something. As a bonus I’ll be adding a free Gnomaloo to each order untill the end of November.

If you don’t have any use for a Gnome Home but are still inclined to throw me a bone, please feel free to link to the site using this button.

Happy shopping!

For locals: you might prefer to contact me directly, and I can give you an account for direct deposits. Hutt Valley residents get a door to door service at no charge.

Online petition - the score so far..

8000.

Raphael Davidge

Franklin

9000.

Aaron Falkner

Henderson

10000.

Shaun Sheldrake

Lower Hutt

11000.

Carl Rabbidge

Aoraki

12000.

Nick Hegan

Mana

13000.

T.R. GRIFFIN

Epsom

14000.

Colette Palmer

Northcote

15000.

Lovell Greybe

Hobsonville

16000.

Bob Lamason

Glenfield

17000.

Liesl Peters

Whanganui

18000.

Carrole Keene

Port Waikato

Sorry its actually ticking over too fast to keep up so I’ll just sample it as I can though the day.

23680.

Robin Hill MBE

Hutt South

25179.

Uday Bhan

Mount Roskil

27218.

Alan Duff

Maungawhau

You can visit the petition here.

And the #1 petition is….