Crime is at an “all time low”
Dear Leader says it is so. All peasants now rejoice!
So this is clearly a typing error of some kind, a really long, highly detailed, file recorded typing error:
Dear Sir
Re: Common Assault - File No: 070127/4955
I am writing to you with regard to your report on 24th January 2007, as you were travelling in your vehicle registration No. [DELETED] you were punched in the left jaw by the passenger in vehicle, Registration No. DNU511.
Due to the high number of priority crimes occurring in the Balmoral area in the past several months, I have been unable to assign your complain to an investigator at this stage.
Your complaint will be investigated in due course and an investigator will be in contact with you at that time.
Should you wish to discuss this matter further please do not hesitate to contact me at the Balmoral police station, phone DDI (09) 631-1026
Yours faithfully,
M. Dalton
Acting Sargeant MDG874
Enquiry Office
Balmoral Police
This is not a case of some guy wandering in, saying: “hey, some unknown guy smacked me in the head”. This complaint - characterised by Acting Sgt. Dalton as a “report” - was backed up with photographic evidence and two witnesses.
Do you want us to go round and arrest the guy ourselves, or what?
No, seriously, at what level do you guys just simply NOT carry out the job, because you’re out of staff? Which I find difficult to reconcile with your former Police Commissioner (the patsy Clark slid in by stitching up Doone) said that he had all the staff he needed… right before the election.
Politics, like comedy, is all about the timing. Only “funny” in a different way.
If you, the New Zealand Police, are quite simply NOT able to protect us, what is our alternative? The Government has clearly created a vacuum that can only be filled by something you don’t want.
I you don’t, wont or can’t protect us, we’ll do it ourselves.
What choice do we have?
oddly enough when we do protect ourselves the cops seem to have resources to SPARE!
February 4, 2007 at 6:11 pm
The strangest thing about the letter from the cops is that I was never punched in the left Jaw, and have never claimed to be.
I was punched in the right hand side cheekbone, just under the eye (enough for my sunglasses to land on the backseat). How any cop who read the report can get this mixed up is beyond me.
February 4, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Oh Jesus Mike, now you want them to READ the bloody report?
There’s just no pleasing you people is there!
In the time it would take to read your complaint nearly $1,000 in government revenue could be netted from one speeding camera alone!
Selfish bastard!
February 7, 2007 at 10:05 am
For $2.95 you can get the address that the vehicle is registered to and do what you will with paper bags full of brown stuff.
February 7, 2007 at 10:56 am
Well since he’s already posted the address that would seem to be a bit a behind on things.
Also please refrain from anonymously inciting vandalism thanks. We’re seeking enforcement of the law here, not vigilante retaliation.
Besides, its never quite and anonymous as you might like.
mail.jltgroup.co.nz
Be careful what you get up to on work computers.
February 7, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Sorry Murray, I ment that as a joke. Your point is taken.
February 7, 2007 at 12:35 pm
In this country people get locked up for jokes like that.
I’m not ready to find out if if Tim Selwyn snores.
Life in Helengrad is one bis ass covering exercise.