Things that make you old*.

Driver: Fuck fuck fuck fuck!
CC: What was that for?
Driver: One for each of the thirty cal rounds that just smaked off the trim vane right in front of my seat!
CC: How you can tell it was thirty?
Driver: It didn’t COME THROUGH and I don’t appear to be a red fucking smudge in the cargo bay!
CC: Can you SEE where you’re going?
Driver: No, I’m using The Force.
CC: Why can’t you see????
Driver: Well the dirt from the shell bursts seems to have accumulated on the engine deck and is blocking the periscopes. Can I have a hint? Seeingeye dog maybe? [Can I put in a vote for not continuing with my foot flat to the floor?]
CC: I think we might be too far into the impact zone.
Driver: ……!!!! [YA THINK????]

RSO: Check fire check fire check fire. All callsigns halt immediately and remain where you are.

CC/Driver: Shit

Friendly fire. Like “Ex-Wife” but slightly less hostile.

Admit it, if we had taken a direct from one of the 105’s or it had been .50 instead of .30 you would have missed me (They didn’t). Some of those live fire exercises were more interesting than others and there’s nothing like getting the complete and undivided attention of almost every senior officer in the army for causing a check fire during their most expensive game since the Americans stopped playing with us and paying for everything expendable and letting us steal everything that wasn’t.

Thanks David you fat prick.

However since there was never anything official put on paper and no-one (ME) was charged I’m assuming it never happened so any PTSD and associated nighmareswill have to be atributed to extreme vehicle maintainence or track bashing above and beyond or possibly those traumatic vists to the mess. Meh.

Anyway thats as hairy as it ever got for me and I’m happy with that.

*Events may not have actually taken place.

Then you get people like Bill who have a sack full of them from which to select a tagline.

That’ll keep your local beer outlet owner in good with bank manager I’m thinking.

Hey, lets be careful out there!

Its a timely tale. Even hard core professionals can get pinged out of the blue. Frankly if you’re going to get smacked in the face by a trebuchet arm I’d prefer it to be Tiny’s 6′ arm rather than Yankee Seiges 55′ arm.

GREENFIELD – It was a rough ending to the first weekend of the annual pumpkin flinging season by the Yankee Siege when one of the medieval weapon’s main operators was injured in an accident.

Being able to throw a pumpkin over 1,000′ Yankee Siege is one of the heavy hitters of the catapult world and Chuck Willard is lucky to get away with just a stitch and a sore jaw.

This is why I’ve spent nearly two years in research and working range proceedures while working my way up with little machines. That and the whole being really way too poor to build the big beast of course.

Even the most experienced can get caught out. Now I go back and revist the hooking up procedure to ensure Mr Face gets nowhere near Mr Throwing Arm even when you thing the trigger is locked. I may need an additional crew member for April. Volunteers?

This green and pleasant land…

Parents are sending children to school in stab-proof uniforms to guard against knife crime, it has emerged.They are paying a firm which makes body armour to line blazers and jumpers with a stab-resistant material called Kevlar.

The precautions are aimed at protecting pupils from knife attacks as street crime spills over into schools.

Things that make you hmmm…

According to one retailer in Upper Hutt one of the other retailers yesterday refused to shift to Colin Gibbs’ new, yet rapidly aging empty lemon of a mall he calls “Trentham City”.

Today it was gutted by fire.

Spot the difference!

What’s the difference?

Well, one involves the media exposing a twat.

The other is Britney Spears.

Meanwhile, Cattlethief has the news of DBP’s new single, what could it possibly be?

Anti-Semitic agenda from the BENCH?

This is completely unacceptable…

Auckland District Court Judge Avinash Deobhakta on Monday issued warrants ordering the arrest of Moshe Ya’alon, a former Israeli Defence Force chief of staff and head of intelligence.

Avinash Deobhakta? OK, well, insert some kind of …..phobe in there, but I suspect this man’s motives.

Who is this Judge Deobhakta and how bad of me to measure him from only his name and his willingness to treat my judicial system as his personal kangaroo court…

Judge Avinash Deobhakta - became a District Court Judge in 1981 and was a former member of the Waikeria District Prison Board. He practised as a barrister in Auckland and was Uganda’s Chief Magistrate in the Department of Public Prosecutions. Appointed: July 2002

So… it’s an Entebbe thing is it? Well, how does he deal withreal violent criminals?

Nobody will be relishing the chance to kick off the new Super League X campaign more than former Bulls second-rower Logan Swann.

The New Zealand international has been spared a custodial sentence for his part in a drunken assault on a man in Auckland in May.

…

Judge Deobhakta said he did not want to destroy Swann’s career.

Ever consider that Swann had done that himslef by choice when assaulting someone of his own free will?

Well, whatever, it’s so blatantly bogus that even the Team Hammas Helen wasn’t going to wear it.

But the judge’s warrant was never enforced and on Wednesday Dr Cullen ordered a stay of proceedings.

The minister said yesterday he issued the stay after advice from Crown Law that the evidence against General Ya’alon was not sufficient.

What sort of individual or group would actually try this racist bullshit in my country anyway?

A statement issued last night by the London-based law firm Hickman and Rose - which represents the Palestinian Centre for Human Rights - said Palestinians were “devastated” by Dr Cullen’s decision.

Well, there’s a shock.

Ok Hickman and Rose, a word of adviice. Stick to turning Britain into the Fourth Reich thanks, stay the hell out of my country. I’ve seen where your country is and where it’s going, we don’t need it here. Hell, we took the trouble of moving as far away from you as possible already.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

Fine, it’s Halloween, but sending someone linked to this sort of imagery really should come with some kind of a warning!