Ten days.

May 6, 2008

Thats how long it would have taken Caesar to build the bridge and put 40,000 men accross it. But due to our technological superiority…

The bridge will cost $32 million and take two to three years to build.

No its a not a new Auckland harbour crossing, just a pissant back road access bridge less than 500 meteres long that carries lest than 8,000 crossings a day.

Lets wait till it falls down and then blame the construction shall. Everyone who built it dead anyway so they wont mind being blamed.


Whatever “it” is Labour is certainly full of “it”.

May 5, 2008

Ok so they set up a “regional fuel tax” in answer to skrocketing fuel prices.

Odly this turns out to really piss people off. So now just having passed this legislation they are going to veto regional councils actually using it… thus making themselves the geros of the common people! All hail Dear Leader!!! All persons are happy happy joy joy!!

What a big festering load of bollocks.

The goverment could HALF fuel prices overnight if they were worried about us. Thats how much of what were paying at the pump is actually tax.

Meanwhile they travel one to a car in their flash new cars.

Piss off losers. 


Quote of the week - if not the year.

May 4, 2008

“If they are old enough to do something like that, they’re old enough to go to jail.”
Ivan Wheaton

You go Ivan. We should base a legal system on this premis. Oh wait we did, but them we pulled it apart.


Production notes for TV3

May 4, 2008

Willie Apiata is NOT “New Zealands most decorated soldier”.

Stop just plucking random “sounds good” phrases out of your collective asses and do some basic research.

And decimation STILL means one in ten, not whatever you think it should mean at the time.

You people are amatures.


What to Helen Clark and Barack Husein Obama have in common?

May 4, 2008

They both have the coveted Hammas endorsment.

Whoo hoo.

Vote for Obama, Muslim terrorists want you too!

I’m sold.


ESAD Hager.

May 3, 2008

 

Wishart would have called it something else but I was already using it as blog gategory.

We wont miss you Helen and your “lasting legacy” is the phrase now embedded in New Zealand politics “as bad as Muldoon, not as bad as Clark”.

seeyoubye


Thought for the day.

May 2, 2008

DUCK!

General purpose word for the weekend.


They’re inside the yellow signs and they’re attacking your base.

May 2, 2008

SHOOT THEM!

Its about bloody time that this country woke up. We’re a soft target and we’re going to be hit. In fact we just were. Unsuprising especially with this softcock approach. If that base was being worked by a private company FIRE THEM, then sue for breech on contract. If it was military then court martial the unit commander and the durty officer for dereliction of duty, post the rest to HMNZS Irirangi see how they like the mountain view.

Slap a combat unit in there and rotate so they stay awake.

I don’t care where the religious fanatics come from or what their agenda is. They are terrorists. That Defence Area sign is not a joke, you can be killed by getting inside them and attacking stuff. When people plan to ram the gates and destroy millions of dollars in hardware - YOU SHOOT THEM.

The next wannabes will think twice.


When essay season runs amok.

May 1, 2008

Do re-enactors have a place is reconstructing history?

Some notes on the operation of the Ballista and

conflicts with accepted academic interpretation.

 

 

The ballista is a very powerful arrow or stone throwing machine descended from the grastrophetes invented in 399BC. Its power is derived from a pair of twisted ropes or skeins that drive two throwing arms in unison as with a crossbow. And therein lays the key. In “unison”.

 

If the arms are not rotating in unison the string and/or sling will be pulled to one side as the machine releases resulting in an uneven launch line. The missile can smash into the frame of the machine causing alarm and despondency amongst the crew who are inside the splinter range of disintegrating arrows. 

 

  

 

Bad release, bolt angled        Clean release, bolt in line

 

 

 

During the American Civil War one inventor came up with the idea of firing two cannon together with the shells linked by a chain. This would – he predicted – cut down whole swaths of enemy in one shot. Well any gunner could have told him that this idea had one teeny tiny flaw. It’s bollocks. You cannot get two guns to fire together as, due to the vagaries of burning powder, there will always be a difference in the exact time that the guns discharge.

 

The resulting spectacle of one gun firing and the other having an impromptu game of “tether ball” may be entertaining but its military applications are severely limited not to mention hard on gun crews.

 

We face a similar problem with a machine that requires two arms to rotate at the same speed, but we do have ways of “tuning” the machine to get the result needed. That being to get an arrow or stone moving at high speed and which represents a greater danger to the target than the crew.

 

In his exhaustive work on [1]siege weapons and warfare Konstantin Nossov describes the ballista as being tuned “musically” via tapping the skeins to literally tune them in by matching the notes they produce. Unfortunately I do not have the benefit of Konstanins extensive academic education having wasted my youth shooting at things and wandering the high country aimlessly with a pack the size of a small town on my back. Consequently I need a method that is more “grunt friendly”.

 

Some experimentation has revealed one. To recreate this experiment you will need one (1) Greek ballista. Lay the ballista face down on the ground and pull the centre of the string. The hypotheses is that if the arms BEGIN to rotate back when the machine is being drawn they will return the same way. In unison.

 

To perform this check in the field – which would equate to the more modern headspace and timing check of a .50 calibre machinegun – you simply hook up the string to the trigger and begin to draw the arms. If they move together you’re good to go. If one moves before the other then you tighten up that skein until they match.

 

 Trigger hooked on                 Bad draw                       Good draw     

 

 

This method may be more pedestrian than the musical one, but from experience grunts are not known for their musical ability or perfect pitch. Expecting a legion to find in one in ten of legionaries musicians of good ear is somewhat over optimistic. Soldiers are simply not choirboys and while it might be nice to carry a Haley Westenra in your range box, it’s not always practical.

 

However after field testing the “give it a pull and look” method does seem entirely functional.

 

 

On the 27th of April 2008 the ballista pictured (Scipio) threw an arrow 160 meters with a three arrow grouping of 30mm at 100 meters range after being tuning using the method described. This machine had been completed the day before.

 

 

Scipio has produced no audible note at to date beyond “thunk”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



[1] Konstantin Nossov Ancient and Medieval siege engines – A fully illustrated guide to siege weapons and tactics The Lyons Press 2005


Yeah! Screw future generations,

April 30, 2008

what have they ever done for me?

Get behind this new holiday.