October 31, 2007

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by

What a load of crap, I’ve never lied my ass off to congress, been blown by a complete slapper at work or set the stage for the worst terrorist attack in history.

Ok, one of those things may have happened.

Sorry Congress.

Notes for Rick.

October 26, 2007

Point 1. In future when I give you a top of the line blog don’t go around getting arrested by US immigration because it lowers the tone of the site…. ok well possibly not THAT site but you catch my drift.

Point the second, next time this happens you call me FIRST. Because as you know I know other people who also know people who can be helpful beynd having a group hug and wearing “Free Rik” t-shirts (no offence guys I think its cute as all get out but some times a phone call is the goer). We’d have had you out a lot sooner is the bottom line.

C. Don’t go back to Fiji. No reason, just not a good plan hmmm?

Fifthly, this is a map of a calendar, read it, memorise it. LEAVE BEFORE your visa expires. Counting is an important skill!


It is NOT your “national heritage”.

October 25, 2007

Its someones HEAD you stinking cheese eating surender monekys!

You have more than enough Kiwi body parts as part of your “national heritage” in cemetaries all over your fucking country.

Give this one back or we’ll kick your poodle! 

By the way…. Read the rest of this entry »

The bowl is full, for the love of god somebody flush!

October 25, 2007

Bully Boy Mallard steps out Tau the Muss and they duke it out over what one said about the other ones mother or some such juvenile crap.

Which 4th grade playground did this happen in again? Oh this one.

So who is right, who is wrong, who won who lost? Ok lets look at the… “merits” of this incident shall we.

1. Mallard the well known mouth, bully, muck raker and abuse hurler of the left can certainly dish it out but he can’t take it.

2. Tau the Muss – not a roll model himself in certain aspects of his personal life if what I’ve been told by parlimentry reporters is even half true – is hardly the man to play point the finger at Mallards personal life.

3. The psrsonal lives is not

     3.1 for general exposure. 

    3.2 of interest to most of us.

    3.3 the best use of the LIMITED amount of time that we pay this pair of buffons to spend there.

     3.4 relevent to pretty much anything.

4. The “he did it first” defence expires at age 5. Grow the fuck up.

5. Perhaps you gentlemen could find something better to do with your time while elelements of the current government are working hard to dismantle our democracy. Just piss of and let there be by-elections comes to mind.

So the judges decision is:

Mallard – dish it out but can’t take it muck raker – 8.

Using the “my dad just died so I didn’t have control of myself” defence – 2.

Total score – 10

Tau the Muss. Descending to the level of a despised muck raker and known thug hit man for Dear Leader -2 (It wasn’t that far to go really was it).

Ragging on a guy whos dad just died – 97 Thats just being a complete asshole. Again, not so much of trip.

Getting that prick to lose his rag + 89 (It was a bad bad thing to do and we do not condone the action… yet still fun to watch)

Final score – 10

Well done guys you are both equal losers. Nice to see some bi-partisan politcal consensus that doesn’t invlove cross dressing.

Our “leaders” ladies and gentlemen of the world. Why we don’t need clowns.

$10 on Tau in the rematch.

Read the rest of this entry »

Actually yes, reenactment is dangerous.

October 24, 2007

Even for professionals.

Thats why we work really hard to be safe.

And still shell out for public liability.

Its also why I’m in artillery, not jousting. That and they can’t find a horse stong enough to carry me.

A glorious culture clash.

October 24, 2007

Too funny to pass:

A glorious culture clash took place in Iran recently that made me laugh out loud. The children of Che Guevara, the revolutionary pin-up, had been invited to Tehran University to commemorate the 40th anniversary of their father’s death and celebrate the growing solidarity between “the left and revolutionary Islam” at a conference partly paid for by Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan president.

There were fraternal greetings and smiles all round as America’s “earth-devouring ambitions” were denounced. But then one of the speakers, Hajj Saeed Qassemi, the co-ordinator of the Association of Volunteers for Suicide-Martyrdom (who presumably remains selflessly alive for the cause), revealed that Che was a “truly religious man who believed in God and hated communism and the Soviet Union”.

Che’s daughter Aleida wondered if something might have been lost in translation. “My father never mentioned God,” she said, to the consternation of the audience. “He never met God.” During the commotion, Aleida and her brother were led swiftly out of the hall and escorted back to their hotel. “By the end of the day, the two Guevaras had become non-persons. The state-controlled media suddenly forgot their existence,” the Iranian writer Amir Taheri noted.

After their departure, Qassemi went on to claim that Fidel Castro, the “supreme guide” of Guevara, was also a man of God. “The Soviet Union is gone,” he affirmed. “The leadership of the downtrodden has passed to our Islamic republic. Those who wish to destroy America must understand the reality and not be clever with words.”

Don’t say you haven’t been warned, comrade, when you flirt with “revolutionary Islam” as if it were a mild form of liberation theology. …

With thanks to Brian.

Karla Cardnos father is a better man than I am.

October 23, 2007

He wants to try to forgive Paul Joseph Dally.

I don’t.

I want him dead. For clarity thats the condition I want him in, its not a threat. Hes not human and is not worthy of humanity.

I remember the day 18 years ago when he took Karla because my entire company was in camp for a weekend ex and already to roll but the police didn’t bother to ask the army for help untill they were looking for a body.

Since he took 22 hours to kill her, yeah we might have made a difference. We’re not too clued up on right of entry and kicking in doors all just another day at the office. He would have got off on a technical but Karla could have been 31 not 13 for ever.

It was also my birthday so I don’t forget.

Do something not evil for once in your miserable existance Dally. Punch out.

“Sorry” is past its use by date.

Happy Birthday!

October 23, 2007

Jessica the master paw behind HMWAH turns 17 today.

She can be seen here supervising HMWAH HQ from the Command Deck. (Now fitted with a sheepskin for extra comfort.)


One of the nastiest little men around.

October 20, 2007

Our Deputy PM.

Deputy Prime Minister Michael Cullen has again refused to apologise to Christchurch businessman Dave Henderson for calling him one of the country’s biggest tax evaders.

An obnoxious self impressed little jerk-off desperately in need of a smack in the mouth which he’d get if ever spoke to one person in the way he talks to all of us who uses parliamentry privilage to smear an innocent man and is happy to let the smear remain in Hansard when he has been exposed as a liar.

Hide asked how Henderson could ever get fair treatment from Inland Revenue “when the Deputy Prime Minister has already declared him guilty of criminal tax evasion” despite him never being charged or evidence presented against him.
“Why isn’t the Deputy Prime Minister big enough to apologise and say he got it wrong?” Hide said.

Well obviously he can’t Rodney. THAT was the whole idea anyway. He didn’t “get it wrong”, he did it deliberately. Its the socialist credo. Lie smear and take other peoples money. Good lord this just another day at the office for the sneering pommy history teacher.

You vote for him next year if you want, I have better things to do.

Wipe my ass, pick my nose. Whatever.

Without Comment.

October 19, 2007

Go read this. (With thanks to Imshin).