Driver: Fuck fuck fuck fuck!
CC: What was that for?
Driver: One for each of the thirty cal rounds that just smaked off the trim vane right in front of my seat!
CC: How you can tell it was thirty?
Driver: It didn’t COME THROUGH and I don’t appear to be a red fucking smudge in the cargo bay!
CC: Can you SEE where you’re going?
Driver: No, I’m using The Force.
CC: Why can’t you see????
Driver: Well the dirt from the shell bursts seems to have accumulated on the engine deck and is blocking the periscopes. Can I have a hint? Seeingeye dog maybe? [Can I put in a vote for not continuing with my foot flat to the floor?]
CC: I think we might be too far into the impact zone.
Driver: ……!!!! [YA THINK????]
RSO: Check fire check fire check fire. All callsigns halt immediately and remain where you are.
Friendly fire. Like “Ex-Wife” but slightly less hostile.
Admit it, if we had taken a direct from one of the 105’s or it had been .50 instead of .30 you would have missed me (They didn’t). Some of those live fire exercises were more interesting than others and there’s nothing like getting the complete and undivided attention of almost every senior officer in the army for causing a check fire during their most expensive game since the Americans stopped playing with us and paying for everything expendable and letting us steal everything that wasn’t.
Thanks David you fat prick.
However since there was never anything official put on paper and no-one (ME) was charged I’m assuming it never happened so any PTSD and associated nighmareswill have to be atributed to extreme vehicle maintainence or track bashing above and beyond or possibly those traumatic vists to the mess. Meh.
Anyway thats as hairy as it ever got for me and I’m happy with that.
*Events may not have actually taken place.
Then you get people like Bill who have a sack full of them from which to select a tagline.
That’ll keep your local beer outlet owner in good with bank manager I’m thinking.
Technical Note: The M113 drivers periscopes only cover the left and front with the egnine occupying the right hand side so when you have a dozen APC’s carrying out a live fire assault with overhead MG support and artillery dressing from the center means the crew commanders of the left hand vehicles are going to have to do just a tad more than just scream “faster faster” at the driver on the IC. Because if he doesn’t give the driver a clue about where he is in relation to the other wagons and they are out of sight of the range control officer they my just find they’re poping up out of some dead ground just a tad ahead of the line and slightly inside the safety distance.