If Darwin had come to the New Zealand islands

instead of the Galapagos ones he would have moved to Arkansas and taken up teaching creationism.

I present the following evidence…

A woman in a rush to get to a garden party called 111 to ask for help with her sewing.

If there was chardonay involved she must die for the greater good.

Police and other emergency services receive thousands of nuisance and hoax calls each year including heavy breathers, people wanting taxis and those upset that their takeaway meals were bad.

Well in this case I think Oz did get a raw deal. sure the full tac response from the AFO may have been a bit over the top but… I may have said too much.

Last year, a bride in Christchurch, panicked by a large oil stain on her wedding dress, dialled 111 in a desperate plea for help.

To be fair I can understand that one. Especially at todays oil prices.

A man rang to say there were two hedgehogs fighting on his lawn.

Actually he was Presbyterian and they weren’t “fighting’ as such but it needs ta be put a stop to afore it inflames the young folk!

A woman called to get police to make her boyfriend ask for her hand in marriage.

Sweetie he’s gay, move on.

And my personal favorite…

A man rang to say there was a cow at his letterbox – and he was scared.

Please go and die, you’re species is embarased by your continued existance.

And finally if you can’t find one cop who can thread a needle its no wonder you can’t hit a dog at 5 feet with two full mags. you’re fully bloody useless.

Someone with good genetic marterial* please invade my country. (Key under the mat)

*People who have this floating in their gene pool need not apply.

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